


Bare

by reddawneyes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Boys In Love, Catholic School, F/M, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Idiots in Love, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Teen Pregnancy, Teen Romance, Verbal Abuse, just go with it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2017-12-27 13:28:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/979484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddawneyes/pseuds/reddawneyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel and Dean are roommates at St. Cecilia's catholic school.  No one can ever know what they have together or they will be torn apart and forced to live a life of trophy wives and children and not each other.</p><p>** Based on the Bare: The Pop Opera which is one of my favourite musicals.  If you want to watch it it is on YouTube and it's amazing recommend.  If not then I hope you enjoy reading this**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Epiphany

The chapel was dark, illuminated by only a few sparse candles, and the soft glow of dawn that lit up the stained glass window above the alter with a peach hue. The window depicted a stern, vengeful looking Christ on judgement day looking out upon the chapel full of students. 

Castiel’s blood ran cold every time he saw it; his chest constricting as he tried to appropriate this Lord with the one he had been told, and believed, was benevolent and forgiving, but found he fell short and struggled with the sheer contradiction of the two images. 

One by one students filed into the chapel walking down the short isle, stopping and kneeling in front of the alter to cross themselves before moving to find their place in the pews. Behind them came a procession of three; Castiel and Gordon (the altar boys and two seniors at the school) and Father Zachariah (or as Dean and Benny like to call him: ‘father needs to fuck’ – despite Castiel’s best attempts at reminding them of the vows of a Catholic priest which always fall on deaf ears. Still, it normally resulted in some interesting methods to shut him up – on Dean’s part that is… if it was Benny it wouldn’t have quite the same effectiveness). 

“I want to welcome all of you back to St Cecilia’s on this; the great day of epiphany. I hope that Christmas was a time of great joy and praise for all of you and your families, and that you are ready to embark on this new term which, for many of you, will be your last here with us.” 

Zachariah paused casting his gaze upon the students before continuing. 

“I want you all to imagine what it must have been like on that day to witness the arrival of the wise men as they came to pay respect to Jesus. A journey not dissimilar to yours as it was a journey which rested almost entirely upon their faith; that they would know where they were going once they arrived…” 

Again Father Zachariah took a moment to study the students sat before him. 

“…For those of you who will be leaving, just as the wise men did we must recognise and continue to live together, study together, and most importantly pray together. We must pray for strength for the journey that we shall continue to go on even after we have all parted ways. We begin in the name of the father, son, and Holy Spirit; let us call to mind those times when we have fallen from God’s grace.” 

Zachariah moved behind the lectern and together they began to confess. 

“I confess to you almighty God, and to you my brothers and sisters that I have sinned of my own fault…” 

Castiel always struggled during confession. 

Of course, he freely admitted that he was not sinless. There is no-one but Christ that is sinless. He argued, swore, felt jealously, and hurt himself and others, but he could still feel his guilt bubbling up inside him. His faith and his heart divided all because of one act they saw and named a sin but he in which he only saw love and truth. 

But still he continued praying. No one knew about him, or the things he and Dean did at night, and nor could they. A catholic school boy in a boarding school having a relationship with his male roommate was an abomination. He would be disowned, shunned, and most likely beaten – even if his friends were accepting he knew he would not miss the wrath of his father or his uncles and cousins. 

So he prayed; keeping up appearances in the low lit chapel asking for forgiveness for that which he knew to be sin, and the lies of omission that made up his life. 

“Castiel, you are not fooling anyone.” Father Zachariah’s voice dripped with odium as he turned his cold stare towards him. 

Cas froze, unsure of what to do so other than squeeze his eyes shut and pray harder. But Zachariah advanced upon him, his white robes becoming black and the soft light of the room vanishing leaving only darkness and a blinding white light which lit Castiel like a spot light. 

“Being an altar boy by day doesn’t forgive what you do at night.” He spat as the flames of anger in his eyes appeared to become literal, translucent flames emerging from his iris and his aura began to shimmer as if he was made of fire. 

As Zachariah continued to advance Castiel began to back away hoping to escape from this hellish nightmare, never stopping his prayer of confession, praying for it all to stop. That he could just be without the pain and judgment. 

He continued to back away, blindly fumbling to seek the safety of his friends whom he believed would protect him. But rather than finding this solace, he was met by the dark, venomous expressions of his school friends who looked ready to rip him apart with their bare hands whilst they laughed. 

Cas collapsed to the ground, his chest getting impossibly tighter, his air supply beginning to restrict, and panic settling into his very core. He felt like he was drowning, and all he wanted was for his friends, the very people who had become more like family than his real family, to reach out and help him. Instead, they began to hurl abuse at him. 

“How do you like it Castiel? An angel, dancing with the devil, teetering on the edge of the pit!” Jo sneered. 

“He loves my brother!” Sam spat. “They have sex, and share a bed. God, it makes me sick!” Cas flinched at the words leaving Sam’s usually kind mouth. 

“Maybe you should just take a few too many happy pills? Seeing as Ash sells them, I’m sure he’d give you them all for free, faggot. You’d be doing us a favour!” Gabriel shouted with sick amusement etched across his face. 

“You can’t keep this a secret, Cas. 7 years and it still got out. Your disgusting, and I’m gonna take him from you. Show him the right way to live. I’m gonna have him take me just like he takes you but it’ll be better. I’ll give him a family, and more pleasure than you could ever give, and you can thank me for that later.” Lisa taunted. 

“No! Please stop! Please!” Castiel shouted, pleaded, and begged them as they continued to advance on him, tears spilling from his eyes and running down his cheeks as he drew ragged breaths, his voice hoarse with emotion and pain. 

“Why don’t you pray louder Cassie? Try and save your soul from the pit?” “Haha, like that’s possible! Why would God want such a disgusting, _thing_ , anywhere near him?!” 

“How- d-did you f-find out? We hid it so well, no one- I-I didn’t tell anyone” Cas stuttered. Panicking more and more and willing someone to stop. To help him. 

“No more dodging, Castiel, God is watching. You can’t escape your sinful past, or what you are.” Father Zachariah joined the approaching mob. 

“Read the bible.” 

“Why can’t you just obey?” 

“You’ll burn for this, you gross bastard!” 

“You have 5 months until it’s too late!” 

“You’d better lock those thoughts away before judgment day, or you’ll be thrown into the flames with every other faggot out there!” 

The abuse continued to be hurled at him and all he could do was cry for the very person who had sent him to this hell to begin with. 

“MOM!” 

The group disappeared, returning to their seats almost instantly as a figure appeared at the lectern. 

“Castiel, sweetie, are you sleeping through morning mass again?” His mother asked in an exasperated tone. “You know if you keep this up your going straight to hell with all the others.” 

She then proceeded to produce a Bible from behind her and began to read. 

“Our first reading today is the story of how despite the best efforts of a single mother, her child can still turn out so horribly, horribly, wrong. I suppose I should have seen it coming. After all, most 7 year old boys ask for superheroes or a basketball for their birthday, but Castiel? Oh no, he wanted an easy bake oven, and his father, Crowley, asked for a divorce. He left me with a letter saying ‘Your son is broken. Even hell will spit him back out, and trust me I’d know, I’m practically its king.’ Then as soon as I found out his favourite movie was Brokeback Mountain…? Well, there were signs everywhere.” 

“Mother, please!” Castiel begged, tears drenching his cheeks as he felt his world crumble. 

“I sent him to a Catholic boarding school in the hope that he would be straightened out, but when he met his roommate, Dean, I knew it was all over. ‘Love at first sight’ as their eyes met over the bags they were bringing into their room. After that I said to myself: ‘Naomi, you wanted grandchildren, and a lovely daughter in law, instead, you’re going to have ambiguous holiday cards from Vegas, and South Beach.’ 

“Mom! Stop please!” Cas begged once again and she vanished almost instantly, but instead of relief he only felt panic as he recognised the mob which was once again advancing through the blackness that enshrouded the chapel. 

“Abomination! Abomination! Abomination! Abomination!” They chanted as they advanced, stepping closer and closer until they were around him. It felt as though there was no air left in his lungs or the room. 

“Cas!” 

He jerked awake, only to see Sam, smiling at him with amusement and sympathy. 

“Mass is almost over, man, I was worried that old Zach would catch you snoozing and give you hell for it. I had to wake up Gabe too.” Sam chuckled wiping at the patch of drying drool on his uniform left by Gabe during his nap (usually because he started dreaming that whatever he was sleeping on was made of candy, and tried to eat it.) 

But Cas found himself unable to even speak as he processed the aftermath of the all too familiar dream. 

“You okay man? You look terrible! Are you sick? I can text Dean and make sure he’s awake to look after you dur-” 

“I’m , Sam.” Cas cut him off sharply and then, seeing the confused hurt flash momentarily flash in Sam’s eyes, he continued, “Thank you though. It would have been awkward if I’d been snoring through the confession” Cas replied finally allowing himself to relax and willing his heartbeat to slow down. 

“If you’re sure?” Sam asked concern etched across his face and most evident in the way his lips pursed and his eyebrows knitted together. 

All Cas could do was nod in response and take some more steadying breaths as he took in his surroundings, sending prayers of thanksgiving that he hadn’t started screaming in the chapel otherwise, Father Zach probably would have had him exorcized. 

Unlike in the dream scape, the room was now brightly lit by the sun, and the lights hanging from the ceiling, leaving no crevice in darkness, and making both student, clergy, and staff, seem more approachable. 

As he looked from his place beside the altar across the pews full of students, he saw all the faces that had advanced on him. Garth, Ash, Jess, Becky, Chuck, and Lisa, all smiled at him and when he spotted Gabe, he received a wink as the class clown not-so-discreetly shoved another chocolate bar into his mouth grinning at him, his mouth a chocolaty mess. Clearly he was peckish after his morning nap. 

Castiel just rolled his eyes and then willed the service to go faster so that he could leave and find Dean; being in his presence, even just for a few minutes, never failed to calm him because being with dean was more than calming. Dean was home, and comfort, and love, and safety, all the things that that dream had been deprived of and so much more. 

It was a strange thing, he thought, that whilst most students here thought of this as just school, with a roommate they might not like… to Cas and Dean, their room was home. 

It was the one place where they could be them, together and not have to hide (unless of course someone [read Gabe] was passed out on their floor. Again.) 

And Cas couldn’t wait to be back there. 

That was until he remembered that it was a Monday morning, and that meant that there was a full day of classes to get through before he could burrow under the covers, curl up in Deans arms, and forget all he had just imagined. 

Sighing, Cas resigned himself to having to simply go and meet Dean by his locker and start another day where they pretended that they were as straight as a steel ruler, and not in love with each other. But still, inspite of that very large roadblock, Dean was worth it.


	2. You & I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don’t you smirk at me, Dean Winchester. You will make this up to me!” Dean dissolved into laughter as Cas continued to berate him watching as his mouth worked words that were meant to reprimand him, but only made him want them on his. Like, right this second.

Castiel scrambled to exit to chapel the second Father Zachariah finished his final blessing – thankfully after Monday mass he was excused from having to help with the post service duties due to an early class. All he could focus on was getting out as he felt the tell-tale signs of a panic attack clouding his mind and restricting his breathing, despite managing to subdue it since he awoke from his nightmare. 

“Hail Mary full of grace…” he chanted the prayer repeatedly, as though it was the only thing that would stop the floor from falling away and sending him plunging into the fiery depths of hell below. 

His rush to leave meant that he was the first person to arrive in the hallway; choosing to ignore the weekly student ritual of strolling late to class using the excuse that Father Zach had overrun with his sermon again. 

Cas took a minute to steady his breathing which had grown more erratic (though this was most likely due to the speed with which he had exited the chapel and rushed to the sanctuary of the corridor than the panic attack.) Leaning against the locker, with his arm above his head, and his forehead resting on the cool metal, whilst he breathed in for 5 and then out for 7 over, and over again, until he felt as though the world wasn’t crashing down around him, and he had regained the brain power to unlock his locker and begin the school day. 

As he fumbled with the padlock on his locker his mind began to roam straying back to the dream and thoughts of Dean trying simultaneously not to mar them with the memories of the dream but, equally to use them to dismiss how heavy his heart felt. 

He was so absorbed in his thoughts that didn’t notice that anyone else had entered the corridor until a basketball bounced off his head. 

“Hey, watch what you’re-“ He spat spinning around to face the culprit, ready to give them short shrift for hitting him, but his objections were cut short when his gaze met the amused green eyes of the culprit. 

“Something you wanted to say, Cas?” Dean asked, casually leaning against the lockers opposite Cas’ in the narrow hall. His eyes glinting, and a smirk pulling at his lips, as he took in the half angry / half flustered Castiel whose neck and cheeks were tinted with a pink blush. 

“Dean!” Cas exclaimed, whacking the boy’s arm with the math book he’d just retrieved from his locker, and then moving one of his hands to rub at the spot where the ball had collided with his head. “Seriously, you almost gave me a heart attack! I didn’t even hear you coming down the corridor! …And that hurt.” He complained, aiming his best hurt look at Dean who was still biting back a laugh at the childish whining being directed at him. 

”Don’t you smirk at me, Dean Winchester. You will make this up to me!” Dean dissolved into laughter as Cas continued to berate him watching as his mouth worked words that were meant to reprimand him, but only made him want them on his. Like, right this second. 

When Castiel finally had to take a breath somewhere around the importance of brain cells in relation to IQ, and the effects of recurring minor head injuries [seriously where does he even get this stuff], Dean saw the window of opportunity to get what he wanted. 

“I’m very, _very_ , sorry about that, Cas.” Dean said as he closed the gap between them, and crowded Cas back against his locker, standing flush against him “I’m sure that there must be some way that I can make it up to you?” he drawled as his hands moved to, and started to stroke, Castiel’s waist, wanting to take full advantage of the empty corridor. 

Cas’ breath hitched as Dean gently began to suck on his collarbone just below his school shirt. “Dean, if you give me a hard on before class I swear to God you will have blue balls for a month!” 

“Really?” Dean questioned, eyebrow cocking in amusement “‘Cause from where I’m standing either you’re really happy right now, or you have started carrying a baseball bat around in your pants.” punctuating his words with a smirk and a roll of his hips. “And we both know that you’d cave in hours, I’m just too irresistible.” He teased. 

”Assbutt.” Cas snarked, as his pushed Dean off him and quickly readjusted himself. 

”You love it” Dean teased as he retrieved his books from his locker. 

“You really think so?” Cas asked “Why don’t you prove it?” Cas said taking a step back towards Dean. 

“Maybe I will.” Dean leaned in towards Cas torturously slow and teasing, but just as their lips brushed together other students spilled into the hallway, and Dean pulled back so fast it was as though being so close to him burned, but he didn’t miss the hurt look flash across Castiel’s features before it was carefully concealed with its usual studious, and confused, expression (including that adorable head tilt that was one of the first things that attracted him to him) 

“Where were you during mass?” Cas asked, as he stared at Dean as though he thought if he stared at him the answer to his question would be written out in his freckles. 

“Asleep. Why waste time in the chapel praying when there’s nobody to listen?” Dean teased, but after seeing the disapproving look on Castiel’s face he winked and continued, “after all we’re damned anyway, what with all of our late night baseball practices.” 

“You, Dean Winchester, are a terrible human being.” Cas stated without trying to hide his amusement any longer. 

“And you, dear Cas, are such a good little catholic boy. Maybe we should go and find the naughty one in the broom cupboard?” 

“Maybe we should.” Cas replied, taking a step towards Dean, his confidence suddenly increasing as he stared at the green eyed boy in front of him. 

“Hey, Dean!” A shout came from the end of the corridor, and the pair turned to see Ash flying down the corridor, his mullet flowing behind him. Dean quickly stepped back from Cas to put some space between them. 

“Yo, Ash man. How’s things?” Dean asked pulling the guy into what can only be described as a bro-hug. 

“I just got my new merchandise. We’re gonna try it out after basketball at lunch, you in?” Ash stage whispered as though it were ‘super-secret’ that he supplied the students with their fix’s. 

“Yeah sure sounds good see you at lunch, man.” He replied after a moment of contemplation. Once Ash had got an answer out of Dean he scurried off in search of Jo, presumably to ask her the same thing. 

“Really Dean? It’s the start of a new, and our final term, and you are smoking God knows what with Ash? I mean, not that that’s not fun or anything, but I thought maybe you could do something with me today?” Cas flustered. 

Dean simply raised an eyebrow in response silently prompting Cas to continue. 

“Well you see after school they’re holding these auditions for the school play, Romeo and Juliet, and I was just thinking-“ 

“Seriously Cas?” Dean cut him off “You asked me the same thing last year and the answer is still no. I’m not some pansy queer. I don’t act and I don’t fucking wear tights.” He hissed. 

“I’m not even going to start on you for using that language, but I will remind you that what we did last night definitely wasn’t straight. Like, at all! Besides that, I think we’re the best act this school has ever seen!” Cas retorted, not missing Deans momentary flinch as he realised what he said before it was quickly replaced with his usual cocky smirk. 

“Oh yeah? Well why don’t you take your bow?” 

“You know what I mean. Any way to insinuate that only gay men act is like saying that only women are-“ 

Dean cut Cas off by quickly pressing a kiss to his lips when he was sure that no-one would see before turning on his heel to make his way to class. 

After a few seconds Cas opened his eyes again and saw Deans retreating form. “Was that supposed to cut me off?” 

“Yep.” Dean shot back without stopping. 

“Assbutt!” 

The last thing that Cas heard before bell rang was Deans laugh echoing down the now empty hall.


	3. Role of a Lifetime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were both so used to waking up with the other that every morning they woke up in their bed at home there was a moment of panic and confusion when they couldn't find the familiar body pressed against their own, or the warmth of half a bed that had recently been occupied. Not that either boy would admit that out loud though – no chick flick moments or any of that crap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a note, I started this over a year ago but then my personal life kicked off and school work and stuff stopped me getting further than the first 2 chapters. I've now edited those chapters to update and and I'm now going to finish it -as it's mostly written now - with regular updates! I hope you like it but that was just so that if there's anyone that read the first two chapters ages ago you may want to go back and read the edited versions :) Thanks!

Cas’ first class of the day was maths, but as Mr Coralline was ill, there was a sub who had been given the next chapter in the book for the students to work through. 

Cas wouldn’t have minded normally, it’s not like it could be helped, and the fact that he’d already worked through this chapter over the weekend when he had some free time meant he could work on something else or just let his imagination run away with him. 

But that was the exact opposite of what he wanted to do today. He was still feeling jittery after his nightmare and without anything challenging or mundane to focus on his mind kept wandering back to Dean, and God, and his mother. 

The thing was Cas wanted to tell her, he wanted to tell everybody but every time he told dean that he shot him down... 

*** 

**Two Nights Ago**

Dean and Cas were laid out on Deans bed making out languidly, just as they would any Saturday night when they had nothing else to do. 

It was their first night back at school and their first night back together since Christmas and it had felt like years for both of them. 

They were both so used to waking up with the other that every morning they woke up in their bed at home there was a moment of panic and confusion when they couldn’t find the familiar body pressed against their own, or the warmth of half a bed that had recently been occupied. 

Not that either boy would admit that out loud though – no chick flick moments or any of that crap. 

So here they were, first night back, all the excitement of seeing their friends had dwindled and they were finally back together. 

Normally this would have meant they were naked within 10 minutes of walking in – and locking their door (they had made that mistake once and only just moved fast enough that Sam hadn’t caught them in the act) - but this time as different. Cas was ready; he needed to come out, but he was nervous about what Dean would say. 

“Dean, may we talk about something?” Cas asked pulling away from Dean and keeping a hand pressed against his chest so he didn’t follow the movement. 

Sitting up with a look of confusion Dean moved the hand not propping him up to Cas’ hip, his thumb moving under his t-shirt and stroking the skin in a calming motion. “Sure thing Cas, what’s up?” 

Cas shuffled, looking anywhere but at Dean, nervous, and no longer sure how to broach the subject. 

“Hey, Cas, look at me.” Dean asked, guiding Cas’ face up with a hand on his jaw to make him look at him. He felt no resistance to the action so he was reassured that Cas wasn’t about to dump him, or recoil from him in disgust having finally realised that Dean was corrupting him and he wanted nothing more to do with him. “What’s wrong?” 

Cas shuffled more but this time held eye contact with Dean, staying silent until he found the right words to say. 

“Nothing is wrong exactly but I wanted to ask you something.” Once he had received a nod from Dean telling him to go ahead, he continued. “I want to tell my mother. Sam. Someone.” 

Dean sat in shock for a moment before he regained his composure. 

“Have you started taking crack over the holidays?” He said with a startled laugh 

Seeing the hurt seep into Cas’ eyes and feeling him start to pull away from him Dean pulled him back to and continued. “Look, Cas, you know we can’t. Even if by some miracle your Mom – Scary, Hell, Angel that she is – didn’t care, my Dad would kick me out. And that’s after he’d kicked the shit outta me. You know we can’t.” 

Cas felt anger bubbling up inside him. 

“Do you actually care about us Dean?! Or am I just convenient? Is it really that scary the idea of someone finding out about us? You jump away from me at the first sight of someone else. You refuse to even sit near me. Lisa Braedon obviously has feelings for you, in fact if she made it any more obvious she would literally need to put a flashing neon sign outside our door!” 

“Cas, what we have is perfect. Okay, now I’m going to make an exception to my no chick flick moments rule just so you understand. When we’re together, when you hold my hand, kiss me, touch me my heart races. And as for Lisa Braedon, you have nothing to worry about okay.? It’s just a game. When you’re near me I go out of my mind. All she does is make me laugh, nothing else. If she feels something for me then there ain’t shit I can do about it, but you know me. I may like sex… like a lot, but I am a monogamous man, and last time I checked this relationship wasn’t open? Me and you, forever, man. You know that. We just, we can’t tell anyone or everything will have to end.” 

He’d been staring into Cas’ shocked eyes throughout his whole monologue just to make sure that he understood what he was saying, and now he was waiting for his response feeling more nervous than he would care to admit.

“Oh.” Was all he managed to say. 

“Yeah, ‘Oh’. Now, we’re back here, and it’s been nearly a month and like I said I do like sex, and I like you… so let’s see how far we get, eh?” Deans face slowly transformed back into his usual cheeky demeanour, and the conversation was practically forgotten as Cas and Dean returned to making out with renewed fervour. 

*** 

“Cas? Caaaaaas? Castiel!” Cas startled as someone clicked their fingers in front of his face. He looked for the source only to find Gabe grinning around a lollipop. “You were lost for a minute there, buckaroo.” 

“Buckaroo?” Cas asked, confusion lighting his face. 

“Oh Cas, you have missed out on so many of the joys of life.” He said with fond exasperation “I said are you okay?” 

“I’m fine. Just bored, I’ve already done this work and my mind wandered to nothing much.” 

“Bitch, please.” Was all Gabe said before he rolled his eyes and strolled back to his desk leaving Cas to go back to his thoughts. 

Once again Cas’ head was brimming with conflicting thoughts which tied together his dream and his conversation with Dean. What should he do? What did God want? No, he knew that. God wanted him to find a trophy wife, have children, white picket fences, and a dog; the whole nine yards. At least Dean would get that. Cas wouldn’t but that was fine. 

But then what was Cas? Why was he in Dean’s life? Was he there to guide him into a place where he could be okay being gay? Where he could be out and proud? Where they could be out and proud together? Or was it like his dream? Was he corrupted by the devil and dragging Dean down with him. Panic built up in his chest once more until he couldn’t breathe. Not wanting anyone to notice, Cas laid his head on the desk and began to breathe in and out slowly, counting the breaths and focusing on Dean and what tonight would bring. In and out. Thinking about auditions, lunch, anything that could distract him. Anything that would help him to keep playing the role Dean needed him to play.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave any comments below  
> But basically, thanks so much for reading! x


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